The fastest way to add someone on Discord
To add a friend on Discord, open the app or website and click the Friends icon (the person with a plus sign) in the left sidebar. Type their username or the number tag that comes after their name — for example, "marcus#1234" — then click "Send Friend Request". They will see your request in their Friends tab and can accept or decline it.
Once they accept, you can message them directly by clicking their name in your Friends list. If you do not know their exact username and tag, you can search for them using the search bar at the top of the app, but you will need at least part of their name correct.
The other way people find each other on Discord is through servers — communities organized around a topic or group. If someone invites you to a server with a link, clicking that link adds you automatically. If you want to join a server without an invite, you can search for public servers in the Discover section, though most servers require an invite from someone already inside.
Key Takeaways
- Adding a friend requires their exact username and the four-digit tag number that appears after their name, which you can find by asking them directly or searching for them in Discord.
- Once you send a friend request, the other person must accept it before you can message them — they will see the request in their Friends tab.
- Joining a server usually requires an invite link from someone already in that server, though some servers allow anyone to join through the Discover section.
- You can find someone's username and tag by right-clicking their name in a server or message, which copies it to your clipboard so you can paste it into a friend request.
Finding someone's exact username and tag
Discord usernames are not always unique — multiple people can have the name "Marcus" — so Discord adds a four-digit number tag to each account to tell them apart. When you add a friend, you need both the username and the tag, written as "marcus#1234".
The easiest way to get this information is to ask the person directly. If you are already in a server with them, right-click their name in the chat or member list and select "Copy User Tag". This copies their full username and tag to your clipboard, and you can paste it directly into the friend request box.
If you do not have access to their tag, you can try searching for them by typing their username into the search bar at the top of Discord. If their account is public, they will appear in the results. Click their name and then click "Add Friend" on their profile. If their account is private or you cannot find them, you will need to ask them for their tag directly.
Sending and managing friend requests
After you type someone's username and tag into the friend request box, click "Send Friend Request". They will receive a notification that you have sent them a request, and it will appear in their Friends tab under "Pending".
They can accept your request, decline it, or ignore it — if they ignore it, the request stays pending until one of you takes action. Once they accept, you both appear in each other's Friends list and can message each other directly.
If you send a request and change your mind, you can cancel it by clicking the X next to the pending request in your Friends tab. If someone sends you a request and you do not want to accept it, you can decline it or block them, which prevents them from sending you requests in the future.
Joining servers with an invite link
The most common way to join a server is through an invite link. These links look like "discord.gg/abc123def" and can be shared in messages, on websites, or in other apps. When you click an invite link, Discord opens a preview of the server showing its name, description, and member count.
Click "Join Server" on the preview page, and you will be added immediately. Some servers have rules or verification steps you must complete before you can see all the channels or send messages — if this happens, follow the on-screen instructions, which usually involve reacting to a message or answering a question.
If an invite link has expired or the server has been deleted, you will see an error message. Ask the person who sent you the link to send a new one, or ask a server moderator to create a fresh invite for you.
Finding and joining public servers
Discord has a Discover section where you can browse public servers by category — gaming, music, study, art, and many others. Click the Compass icon in the left sidebar to open Discover, then browse categories or use the search bar to find servers about a topic you care about.
When you find a server you want to join, click it to see a preview. Some public servers let you join directly by clicking "Join Server", while others require an invite from a moderator or have a waiting period. If a server requires approval, you may see a form asking why you want to join — fill this out honestly, as moderators use it to decide whether to let you in.
Keep in mind that public servers can be large and may have different rules and moderation standards than smaller private servers. Read the rules channel when you join, as breaking them can get you removed.
What to do if someone will not accept your friend request
If you send a friend request and the person does not respond after several days, they may have declined it without notifying you, or they may not have seen it. Check your Friends tab and look for your request under "Pending" — if it is no longer there, they declined it.
You can send another request after a few days, but if they decline it again, respect their choice and do not keep sending requests. If you are trying to reach someone you know, try messaging them through a server you are both in, or contact them through another app.
If someone blocks you, you will not be able to send them friend requests or messages. You will not receive a notification that you have been blocked, but if you try to message them and see an error, they have likely blocked you.
Adding people from servers you are already in
If you meet someone in a server and want to be friends with them, you can add them without leaving the server. Right-click their name in the member list or in a message they sent, then click "Add Friend". This sends them a friend request, and if they accept, you can message them directly outside the server.
This is often easier than asking for their username and tag, because Discord handles the details for you. The person will still need to accept your request before you can message them, but they will see it immediately since they are active in the same server.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between a friend and a server member?
A friend is someone you have added directly and can message one-on-one. A server member is someone in the same server as you, but you can only message them if you are both in that server, unless you are also friends. You can be in a server with hundreds of people without being friends with any of them.
Can I add someone if I only know their username without the tag number?
You can try searching for them by username in the search bar, and if their account is public, they will appear in the results. However, if multiple people have the same username, you may not find the right person. Asking them directly for their full username and tag is the most reliable way.
What happens if I send a friend request to someone who has blocked me?
You will not be able to send them a friend request at all — Discord will show an error message. If you think you have been blocked, you can try searching for their profile. If you cannot find them or see their profile, they have likely blocked you.
Do I need to be in a server to add someone as a friend?
No. You can add anyone as a friend if you know their username and tag, even if you have never been in a server together. However, they must accept your request before you can message them.
Can I add multiple people at once?
No. You must send friend requests one at a time. There is no bulk-add feature in Discord, so if you want to add several people, you will need to send each request individually.