The three ways to add someone on Discord

You can add a friend on Discord in three ways: by their username and tag number, by a direct invite link they send you, or by searching for them if you're both in the same server. The fastest method depends on what information you have about the person. If you know their exact Discord username, the username-and-tag method works immediately. If they've sent you a link, that's the quickest route. If you only know them from a shared server, you can find them there and send a request.

All three methods send a friend request that the other person must accept before you can message them directly. Until they accept, you won't see them in your friends list, and they won't see your messages if you try to contact them.

Key Takeaways

  • You can add someone by their username and tag (like username#1234), through a direct invite link, or by finding them in a shared server.
  • A friend request must be accepted by the other person before you can message them or see them in your friends list.
  • If you don't know someone's exact username, asking them directly for it or their invite link is faster than searching through a server.
  • You can cancel a pending friend request at any time, and you can remove someone from your friends list after they accept.

Adding a friend by username and tag

Open Discord and click the plus icon next to "Friends" in the left sidebar. A window will open with a text box that says "Enter a Username#0000". Type the person's exact Discord username, followed by their tag number (the four digits after the hashtag). For example, if someone tells you their Discord name is "alex#5432", type exactly that into the box.

Click "Send Friend Request" once you've entered the username and tag. If the username and tag are correct, the request will send immediately. If Discord can't find that exact combination, you'll see an error message. This usually means the tag number is wrong, so ask the person to confirm both their username and their tag number.

The person will see your friend request in their Friends tab. They can accept it, decline it, or ignore it. You'll see the request listed as "Pending" in your own Friends tab until they respond.

Adding a friend through an invite link

If someone sends you a Discord invite link (it looks like discord.gg/something or a longer URL), click the link or paste it into your browser. Discord will open and show you a preview of the server or group. Look for an "Add Friend" button or option on that preview screen, or look for the person's profile if their link is a direct profile invite.

Some invite links take you directly to a server instead of showing a profile. In that case, join the server first, then find the person's name in the member list and add them from there (see the next section). Once you've sent the request through the link, the process is the same as adding by username — they'll see it as a pending request and can accept or decline.

Adding a friend from a shared server

If you and someone else are both members of the same Discord server, you can add them without knowing their username or tag. Open the server, click the server name at the top, and select "Members" from the dropdown menu. Scroll through the list or use the search box to find the person's name. Click on their name to open their profile.

On their profile, you'll see an "Add Friend" button. Click it to send a friend request. The request works the same way as any other — they'll see it pending in their Friends tab and can accept or decline. This method is useful when you know someone from a server but don't have their username memorized.

What happens after you send a friend request

Once you send a friend request, it appears in your Friends tab with a "Pending" label. The other person will see it in their Friends tab as an incoming request. They can accept it (which adds you to their friends list and lets you message each other), decline it (which removes the request), or do nothing (the request stays pending).

You can cancel a pending request at any time by clicking the X next to it in your Friends tab. If the person accepts your request, you'll both appear in each other's friends lists, and you can send direct messages to each other. If they decline, the request disappears and you'll need to send a new one if you want to try again later.

Removing a friend or blocking someone

If you've added someone as a friend and later want to remove them, right-click their name in your Friends list and select "Remove Friend". They won't be notified that you removed them, but they'll notice you're no longer in their friends list if they check. Removing a friend doesn't delete your message history with them, but you won't be able to message them directly anymore unless you add them again.

If someone is bothering you or you don't want to receive messages from them, you can block them instead. Right-click their name and select "Block". A blocked person can't send you messages, add you as a friend, or see that you're online. You can unblock someone at any time using the same menu.

Troubleshooting common problems

If you enter a username and tag and Discord says it can't find the person, the tag number is almost always wrong. Discord usernames are case-sensitive for the tag part, so "Alex#5432" is different from "alex#5432". Ask the person to tell you their username and tag again, or ask them to send you an invite link instead.

If someone sends you a friend request and you don't see it, check your Friends tab and look for the "Pending" section. Sometimes requests get buried if you have a lot of friends. If you still can't find it, the person may have sent the request to a different Discord account by mistake. You can also ask them to send you an invite link to their profile instead, which is harder to get wrong.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I add someone if I don't know their username?

If you're both in the same server, you can find them in the member list and add them from their profile. Otherwise, you'll need to ask them for their username and tag, or ask them to send you an invite link. There's no way to search for someone by their real name or email address.

Will the person know I sent them a friend request?

Yes, they'll see it in their Friends tab as an incoming request. They won't get a notification unless they have notifications turned on for friend requests, but they'll see it the next time they open Discord and check their Friends tab.

What if someone sends me a friend request and I don't want to accept it?

You can decline the request, which removes it from your pending list. You can also ignore it and it will stay pending. If you want to stop them from sending you requests in the future, you can block them instead.

Can I add someone if they have their account set to private?

Discord doesn't have a "private account" setting that prevents friend requests. Anyone can send you a friend request if they know your username and tag or have your profile link. You can decline requests, but you can't prevent them from being sent.

How long does it take for someone to see my friend request?

They'll see it the next time they open Discord and check their Friends tab. There's no delay on Discord's end — it appears immediately. If they don't see it after a few hours, ask them to close and reopen Discord, or check that you sent the request to the right username.