The basic ways to add someone on Messenger

You can add someone to Messenger in three main ways: by searching for them by name or phone number, by scanning their QR code, or by letting them add you first. The method you choose depends on whether you already know their Messenger username, have their phone number, or just want to share a code so they can find you.

On the mobile app, tap the people icon (usually at the bottom of your screen) and look for an "Add People" or "+" button. On the web version at messenger.com, you'll see a compose button or similar option to start a new conversation. Both routes lead to the same search function where you type a name or number.

Key Takeaways

  • Search by name or phone number in Messenger to find people you want to message, then tap their profile to send them a message request.
  • QR codes let someone scan your code with their camera to add you without typing your name, and you can scan theirs the same way.
  • When you message someone who isn't already your contact, they receive a message request they must accept before the conversation appears in their main inbox.
  • You cannot force someone to accept your message request, but you can send one message before they respond.

Adding someone by searching their name or username

Open Messenger and tap the people icon or the compose button. Type the person's name, username, or phone number into the search box. As you type, Messenger shows matching results — look for the person's profile picture to make sure you have the right person, since multiple people may share the same name.

Tap their name to open their profile. You'll see a "Message" button or similar option. Tap it to send them a message request. They'll see your message in a separate "Message Requests" folder, not in their main inbox, until they accept it. If they accept, the conversation moves to their main chat list and you can message freely.

Using QR codes to add someone quickly

Both of you need to be in Messenger for this method to work. In the mobile app, look for your QR code — it's usually in your profile settings or accessible from the people/contacts section. Your code is unique to you and doesn't change.

To add someone using their QR code, open your camera app or the QR scanner in Messenger (if available in your version) and point it at their code. Messenger will open their profile, and you can tap "Message" from there. To let someone add you, show them your QR code and they scan it with their camera — no typing required.

What happens when you send a message request

When you message someone who isn't in your contacts or who you haven't messaged before, your message goes to their "Message Requests" folder. They see a notification that you've sent them a message, but it doesn't ping them the way a message from a known contact would. They can read it, ignore it, delete it, or accept it.

If they accept your request, your conversation moves to their main inbox and you can both message back and forth normally. If they ignore or delete it, you can send one more message, but after that Messenger stops letting you message them unless they reach out to you first. This is a privacy feature to prevent spam.

Adding contacts from your phone's address book

Messenger can sync with your phone's contacts to show you who is already on the app. On mobile, go to your settings within Messenger and look for "Contacts" or "Sync Contacts." Turn on the toggle to let Messenger read your phone's address book. It will then show you which of your saved contacts have Messenger accounts.

This doesn't automatically add them — you still need to tap their name and send a message. But it saves you from having to remember or type their username. If you turn off contact syncing later, Messenger stops reading your address book, though it keeps the contacts you've already added.

Adding people to a group chat

If you're already in a group chat, you can add new people to it without creating a whole new conversation. Open the group, tap the group name at the top, and look for an "Add Members" or "+" option. Search for the person's name and tap to add them. They'll see a notification that they've been added and can see the chat history from that point forward.

In some groups, only the group creator or admins can add people. If you don't see an "Add Members" button, the group settings may restrict who can invite others. You can ask an admin to add the person instead.

Privacy and safety when adding people

Messenger shows your profile picture and name to anyone who searches for you, even if you haven't added them back. If you want to limit who can message you, you can adjust your privacy settings to only receive messages from people in your contacts, though this means you might miss messages from new people trying to reach you.

Be cautious about scanning QR codes from people you don't know in person — a QR code is just a link to someone's profile, and scanning it doesn't give them access to your data, but it does let them message you. If someone you don't recognize messages you, you can delete the message request without responding, and they won't know you saw it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can someone add me on Messenger without my permission?

They can send you a message, but it goes to your message requests folder, not your main inbox. You have to accept the request before they can see that you've read their message or before the conversation appears in your main chat list. You can ignore or delete the request without responding.

What if I can't find someone by name?

Try searching by their phone number if you have it, or ask them for their Messenger username — usernames are unique and easier to search for than names. If their privacy settings are very strict, they may not appear in search results at all, and they would need to add you first instead.

Do they get notified when I search for them?

No. Searching for someone in Messenger does not send them a notification. They only get notified when you actually send them a message request or message.

Can I add someone if they've blocked me?

No. If someone has blocked you on Messenger, you won't be able to search for them, message them, or see their profile. The block is one-way — they can still see you, but you cannot interact with them until they unblock you.

What's the difference between adding someone and sending them a message?

In Messenger, "adding" someone usually means sending them a message request. There's no separate "add friend" button like on some other platforms. Once they accept your message request, they're in your contacts and you can message freely.